Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
