Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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