I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
