brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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