think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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