Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was CRYING into my vagina
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize
