She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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