Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
