can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
