when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
