I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
