I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
