Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
