I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
