Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
