In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
