rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
