i think my mom watched the whole time
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
