69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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