just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
