I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
don't judge my taste in strippers
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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