dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
