Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
