Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
