it hurts more in the daytime
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I've blown a few things in my day
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
