That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
