At least make sure they are 18
Why
I could have mohawked her pubes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
