Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
