I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
