I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize