you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize