I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you will always have a special place in my vag
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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