He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
