Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
