It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
