I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
