Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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