Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
