Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
