I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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