PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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