I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
