You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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