yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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