we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
