Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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