we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
