i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
