just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
