Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
