This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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