Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
