I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
