I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize