omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
