She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize