My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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