May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
There are leaves in my underwear?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
