i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
