I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
